Decoding Happiness: The evil of comparison

 

- 4 minute read

Finally, after a long, long time, I have written the fourth article of the series "Decoding Happiness".  We all want to be happy. We do everything to be happy and yet happiness eludes us. What is this mystery? Why can't we live happily ever after? Or can we? In this series of articles, “Decoding Happiness” we will try to explore the mystery of happiness. 

This is the Fourth article of the series. I suggest you must also read the other three article so that you can master the art of happiness. For your convenience, I have provided the links to previous articles right here:

Article 3: Stop chasing happiness.

Article 2: Stop worrying dude!

Article 1:Ice cream cannot make you happy.

I hope you will find these articles helpful. Do let us know your thoughts by writing the comments below. So, lets get started...

 The Evil of Comparison

Yesterday, I and my friend decided to have a dinner outside. We chose a dhaba (a roadside restaurant) which was opened just recently in our town. When we entered there was no customer and we were probably the first ones that day. The waiter was not sophisticated but he was polite and well informed. We ordered a Paneer dish along with some salad, papad and tandoori chapatis. There was no other customer in the restaurant and the food was ready within a few minutes.

Halfway through our dinner I asked my friend “Did you like the food?”

“Its OK. I have had better paneer than this”, he replied. After the dinner ordered a plate of gulab jamun as dessert.

I asked again “Do you like them?”

“Yes, they are decent but that restaurant in Indore has best gulab jamuns and these are no good as compared to them” he replied.

“But that restaurant charges three times more than these, isn’t it?” I said.

“Right, but the taste is awesome”.

Was the food good? I’ll say it was decent especially, considering the price tag it had. Liking or disliking food is subjective. Some people like a thing, others don’t. Its simply a matter of individual choice. What caught my attention was the way he gives his feedback. When I asked him, he replied by comparing the food we were eating with all the food he ever had. This tendency to compare is what catches my attention.

My friend tends to compare everything we come across. Just like he said that he has had better food at many places, we also come across different types of experiences. Comparing your present experience with the best one you ever had will mostly leave you disappointed. Because, naturally, there is huge diversity in the world. The world does not know what you like the best. Even if it does, the world has no obligation to adjust itself to your likings. There are billions of people on earth and everybody defines his/her best experience differently.

Another factor which affects your experience is what experience you had immediately before the present one. For example, when you eat a Rasgulla after eating gulab jamun, for you its just another variant of sweetness. On the other hand, if you just ate something spicy, and then you get a Rasgulla, trust me that eating that Rasgulla will feel heavenly.  

So, to enjoy most, we must appreciate the food in hand i.e., the one which is on the table right before you. Instead of comparing it, just be in the moment and enjoy whatever you have, in the best possible way. Because comparing constantly, will make you dissatisfied most of the time, thus making you unhappy. In fact, not just food, stop comparing everything and you will be more happy.

But the question arises that in the absence of comparison, how would one know if a product is better or worse than others? Its true that, comparison helps to rate the product and its very useful in that sense. The answer to that question is that we must compare before making the choice and not after that. For example, while deciding the restaurant, ordering food, do all the comparison you want to do and choose as per your free will. But once you have ordered and the food has arrived, then immerse yourself in the food that you have at the moment. Forget about the previous experiences, and just focus on what you have in your plate. If you don’t like it, you may order something else (if your budget permits!) or decide to never eat the same item at the same restaurant again. That’s totally your choice.

Absence of comparison can bring in tremendous peace in your life. You will be closer to yourself, your surrounding and you will be able to enjoy more.

- Pratik Badgujar